Vogue says thinner is better? Perfection Is a disease

I really don’t know what has come upon us humans that we now act as if God gave us the mandate to judge other people based on how they live their lives. I am particularly concerned on cyber bullying in Kenya and how it is evolving. It is not uncommon to have a picture doing rounds on social media on a person’s physical looks which ends up as a meme most of the times. I am also concerned about how women have jumped into the bandwagon and redefined cyber bullying in Kenya. At first we had our men complaining about how we females look, like you are too skinny, you are too fat and you …you are too dark. Needless to say, we had celebrities who came in the limelight and proved that dark is beautiful too and we had a section of our men now appreciating the darker skinned women. What happened next? Pictures of lighter skinned females posted online now had the caption lightskin is not equal to beauty. Of course we all know color should not be a determinant for beauty but hey, why would you use some ones imperfections to feel good about yourself?

Our women have taken cyber bullying to another level where war is brewing between Kenyan women, whether residing in Kenya, abroad, women married to white men living abroad or in Kenya, who are now referred to as BYMs (Bibi ya Mzungu)  I Guess if you are married to a Kenyan man that translates to  Bibi ya Mkenya? Whatever these women are fighting about trust me are things that should be non-issues. Why would you be concerned if a woman is married to an older man and coin a name like ‘fossil’ to constantly refer to someone’s husband? Why would you be concerned if another woman has a lower paying job abroad than you in Kenya? Why would you be concerned that another woman’s child is darker skinned than your ‘pointee’ children and post shaming photos of the said family with spiteful messages? And here I was thinking that children are a blessing from God!


Why will you as a woman take it upon yourself to bring out a fellow woman’s secret to a bunch of online strangers just because you fell out? What happened to the old fashioned friendship where secrets were well kept even after a fall out! We do not want to know who was picked from a strippers club in Mombasa, we do not want to know whether your ex-bff has not paid mortgage, whether her mother lives in a dilapidated house in the village when she travels the world among others what we want to know is if a woman asks you online how to obtain a visa or work permit in that country, can you help with information? If she wanted to start a business at home and asks you on the export business would you be in a position to answer a question or two? Matters of importance!

I am even more concerned that the perpetrators of these acts are not just young teenage girls but mothers to one, two, three or seven children. What kind of image do you want your kids to learn about you when they are online? You have heard the internet never forgets, with screenshots being re-posted every one second that passes. Ladies, It is not like there is a crown on who can hurl the best insults online. It has been said that cyber bullies are people who are unhappy with their lives and are projecting their frustrations to others to feel good about themselves but we all know throwing shade at another person’s candle will not make yours burn any brighter and maybe it is time to seek help?

As you can see, I am all about understanding why a woman will derive joy by trying to bring a fellow woman down knowing how hard life can be.